26 10 / 2011
17 10 / 2011
Well, I guess I’m finally stuck in a rut. I’m sitting here and listening to my closest friends give me all sorts of advice in regards to my relationship with Bobby and I just don’t know which piece of advice I should be taking. One person says leave him and move on with your life, there are other fish in the sea, someone else tells me to keep holding on and be patient things will turn for the better.
I wish I knew who to listen to. Well at least who made the most sense because if it were up to me, I’d probably keep letting him walk all over me day in and day out. I don’t really know why I’m putting up with all the things he puts me through. I want us to work out so badly that I constantly keep making up excuses and trying to convince myself that maybe, just maybe he really will change if I put my foot down. Huh.. hasn’t seemed to have happened yet. I feel blinded by him and I know its not good for me at all whatsoever.
I feel really stupid when it comes to this relationship. I haven’t got a clue why I constantly keep giving him second chances even though it seems like he never realizes what he does wrong. I don’t know why I can’t walk away like I usually do. Like I did with Squirrel and steve and Nick and everyone else I’ve walked away from in the past. The only difference in this case is that my boyfriend treats me like SHIT. That may even be an understatement. Oh well. Tune in next time.
03 10 / 2011
Wow I haven’t been on this thing in forever and a day…
Well I guess a few things have changed since my adventures in the motherland. First things first, Anthony and I are no more. Shit went sour when I came back to the states and realized I was seeing a five year old.. Oh well, life goes on. I guess I still wonder the usual “what-ifs” every once in a blue moon, but I feel as though breaking off all contact with him was for the best. After all, I guess I can consider myself happy as of right now.
I’ve always been the type of girl who refused to cross the friend line with a close boy-friends due to the fear of losing them if things took a turn for the worse. I don’t know why I decided to jump the gun and start dating my best friend, but I’ve got to admit, it’s probably one of the best decisions I have made for myself in a while. Yeah, he PISSES me off more than too often, but when I really think about it, he makes my life all the more interesting with the retarded things he comes up with.
I don’t know how he comes up with some of the things he says but let me tell you, I can’t ever stay mad at him for more than a few minutes. Although he’s usually the reason behind me being mad in the first place, he tends to be the only one who can put a genuine smile on my face at the same time. He rarely shows me how much I mean to him, but when he does… I don’t think there’s a word to describe the feeling I get.
He’s a man and that’s something I feel like I have been not only avoiding, but secretly searching for this whole time.
Til next time <3
06 6 / 2011
- Don’t try to read other people’s minds. Don’t make other people try to read yours. Communicate.
- Be polite, but don’t try to be friends with everyone around you. Instead, spend time nurturing your relationships with the people who matter most to you.
- Your health is your life, keep up with it. Get an annual physical check-up.
- Live below your means. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Always sleep on big purchases. Create a budget and savings plan and stick to both of them.
- Get enough sleep every night. An exhausted mind is rarely productive.
- Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man. That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness, and other unnecessary headaches.
- Get off your high horse, talk it out, shake hands or hug, and move on.
- Don’t waste your time on jealously. The only person you’re competing against is yourself.
- Surround yourself with people who fill your gaps. Let them do the stuff they’re better at so you can do the stuff you’re better at.
- Organize your living space and working space. Get rid of stuff you don’t use.
- Ask someone if you aren’t sure.
- Spend a little time now learning a time-saving trick or shortcut that you can use over and over again in the future.
- Don’t try to please everyone. Just do what you know is right.
- Don’t drink alcohol or consume recreational drugs when you’re mad or sad. Take a jog instead.
- Be sure to pay your bills on time.
- Fill up your gas tank on the way home, not in the morning when you’re in a hurry.
- Use technology to automate tasks.
- Handle important two-minute tasks immediately.
- Relocate closer to your place of employment.
- Don’t steal.
- Always be honest with yourself and others.
- Say “I love you” to your loved ones as often as possible.
- Single-task. Do one thing at a time and give it all you got.
- Finish one project before you start another.
- Be yourself.
- When traveling, pack light. Don’t bring it unless you absolutely must.
- Clean up after yourself. Don’t put it off until later.
- Learn to cook, and cook.
- Make a weekly (healthy) menu, and shop for only the items you need.
- Consider buying and cooking food in bulk. If you make a large portion of something on Sunday, you can eat leftovers several times during the week without spending more time cooking.
- Stay out of other people’s drama. And don’t needlessly create your own.
- Buy things with cash.
- Maintain your car, home, and other personal belongings you rely on.
- Smile often, even to complete strangers.
- If you hate doing it, stop it.
- Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother.
- Apologize when you should.
- Write things down.
- Be curious. Don’t be scared to learn something new.
- Explore new ideas and opportunities often.
- Don’t be shy. Network with people. Meet new people.
- Don’t worry too much about what other people think about you.
- Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and likeminded.
- Don’t text and drive. Don’t drink and drive.
- Drink water when you’re thirsty.
- Don’t eat when you’re bored. Eat when you’re hungry.
- Exercise every day. Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program
- Let go of things you can’t change. Concentrate on things you can.
- Find hard work you actually enjoy doing.
- Realize that the harder you work, the luckier you will become.
- Follow your heart. Don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s dreams and desires.
- Set priorities for yourself and act accordingly.
- Take it slow and add up all your small victories.
- However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. Accept this simple fact.
- Excel at what you do. Otherwise you’ll just frustrate yourself.
- Mature, but don’t grow up too fast.
- Realize that you’re never quite as right as you think you are.
- Build something or do something that makes you proud.
- Make mistakes, learn from them, laugh about them, and move along.
—Marc and Angel Hack Life
01 6 / 2011
Seems it’s been a while since I last updated you about my life here in the motherland. Well, let’s catch up a little bit. Not too much has changed other than I’M COMING HOME!!! Yay! Thanks to a dear friend of mine, I was able to chose my own date of arrival and am officially coming home in 11 days… saweet!
Well, this weekend was probably one of the most interesting in the almost month and a half since I got here. Friday afternoon, we left for Zakopane which is a city right at the base of the Tatra Mountains. The weather was kinda shitty.. We got there late friday night went to dinner at a traditional highlander restaurant. Let me just say, highlanders have the BEST food! Saturday it rained just about all day. We started our hike to the “eye of the sea” which was about a 9 km walk, we finished about a fourth of the trail and it started POURING!! we had to run back to the car and we were drenched to the bone. But let me tell you, the scenery was amazing. Sunday, we were going to climb the Kacprowy wierch which is a peak of the Tatra’s but once again it was raining and the fog was so thick! You couldn’t see five feet in front of you! So instead of walking, we took the little trolley in the air thing to get to the top. It was so cold! I had ice on my eye lashes bahaha. but it was worth it.
Monday it finally became nice outside. Monday was also the day we were leaving. We visited John Paul II home town and the church he served then we headed over to Auschwitz, the one place I’ve always wanted to visit. We arrived there at about 1pm. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such strong emotions. To actually see these people’s living conditions, their belongings, the death wall, and the gas chambers… It made my stomach turn. I took a piece of brick from the ruins of one of the crematoriums/gas chambers as a keepsake.
Well, I’m off to find something to occupy myself with. Adios my loves
23 5 / 2011
50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Which is worse, failing or never trying?
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Why are you, you?
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
What are you most grateful for?
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
If not now, then when?
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
18 5 / 2011
17 5 / 2011
I could have kissed you
under cherry blossoms,
pale petals drifting down
like the trees wanted to
pretend they could be
I could have kissed you
in the rain, drenched to
our bones and not even
caring that the skies
opened up above us
and tried to wash us out.
I could have kissed you
in a clearing in the most
secluded woods, with
just the sound of wind
rustling through the leaves
and a few voyeuristic
finches peeping at us.
Instead, I kissed you
in the parking lot of a
Waffle House, just shy
of 2 a.m. in the middle
of a hectic week, with
our waitress grinning
at us from the other
side of the window,
how could I not?